i don't want to sit down and write a few words
only to delete them and then write a few new ones and then
delete them again
i don't want to go over to your house only to feel needed by you
because he broke up with you and then five days later
he wants you  back and so i'm no longer needed
delete delete
deleted
whenever you call me i watch the phone as it rings
once, twice, three times
but you don't leave a message
and i don't call you back

today i'm doing a little experiment
it's called
not feeling guilty
it's called
forgiving myself
it's called
smiling for no reason

and you're not here and i'm not sad about it
for once.