People don't think of it as a problem.
Because I never knew him.
But somehow this is one of the biggest.....the worst..problems.
I may have never met him.
Yet he has one of the greatest impacts in my life.
Since..before day 1, he declined me.
He never even accepted my existence.
And here I am.
Suffering through it.
Suffering from the pain brought into my life since before it was official.
And yet I can't....I won't...will never let anyone know what I feel.
And how is it that these obvious and painful feelings are so, so easy to hide behind a fake smile, fake laugh, and fake feelings.
Such bad acting that people can't notice how fake....stupid....idiotic...and just plain out hurt I feel.
And no.
This isn't a poem.
Nor is it a suicide letter.
This is me expressing my feelings to you...who I don't even know.
Because you don't know me.
And maybe you do.....
But you wouldn't even realize how I feel, and what really goes in in my head.