party’s are fun for everyone (?)

i used to have an easy time enjoying myself laughs came easy smiles even easier even being around these people made me happy but something has changed my heart has moved places and my stomach refuses to consider the possibility that I’m safe every word, every breath feels forced out of an unchanging smile i guess im just waiting but i don’t know what for for when ill finally have a day in which the possiblity of sleeping forever doesn’t feel appealing? for when ill finally love myself? maybe im just waiting for the sun to set so we can finally start the bonfire and the burning of my skin will make me feel something

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