I need you. You're not here and I think I've hit rock bottom. I've hit rock bottom every time you weren't here and that's been every day I've known you.
You aren't here like I need you to be. You give half the effort I give, and it isn't enough to keep me from being anxious. Enough to keep this mind from putting together a million different outcomes if you were.  
I'm trying to figure you out. But this time, I know it won't be any easier.