sometimes it sneaks up on me
like a dark shadow
a mist that shrouds me
trying to protect
but doing the opposite.

ever since it
crept into my life
i have had the hardest time
getting rid of it.

the sobbing does nothing
to help and the one thing
that does i cannot do
in fear of upsetting him.

when i am alone
with my thoughts
they finger my insides
pulling plugs
and implanting
awful ideas.

all alone
i am scared of myself
of what i might do
because i can sneak through
the apartment
bottle of aspirin in hand.

the only thing
that keeps me holding on
is the idea of a better tomorrow