I want to give you all of the good parts of me,
The ones you deserve
The parts that are whole on their own, the silent parts
The ones that fall asleep with ease
The parts that have never rejected
Goodness or entertained the notion
Of an early death.
I feel crazy most days, I wake up and I'm someone
And by the time I get to work I am someone else entirely
Some days I get home and snap at my little brothers
Some days I get home and I'm giggly and jumpy and full of life
Some days I cannot focus on anything else
But my pain, my suffering, my illness
Some days I am nothing but completely
Consumed.
You do not deserve to have the bad parts of me,
But if you love me,
Then won't you love them too?
So when you ask me who I am
I will only tell you the truth of who I am
At that exact moment
But be aware, that person will have bolted
Fled into another life
And be replaced
By another person entirely by the time
You've hung up the phone and said, i love you, i will see you
Later. But who exactly will you be seeing later?
So take the good parts, while they're still here
Because by tomorrow I may have sinned
I may have taken all the goodness out of my chest
And burned it with your heart.
This has happened before and if it happens again, I'm sorry in advance
I just don't know how to make all of the
Flying particles of myself
Stand still.
How to make the goodness and the badness fit together to make
Something that might have the potential to be
Everlastingly beautiful.