Is it okay to run and hide?
Or is that a form of cowardice?
Is it okay to want to escape my own body?
Or is that self-denial?
Is it okay to hate blood?
Or is that unforgiving?
Is it okay to hate crying?
Or is that absurd?
Is it okay to want to pick up that shiny piece of metal?
Or is that cruelty?
Is it okay to want to see yourself bleed?
Or is that preposterous?
Is it okay to want to leave my body behind?
Is it okay to want to leave everything behind?
Is it okay to hate the life you've been given?
Is it okay to hate the fact that your life is no longer bearable?
Or should I just continue to live?
Despite the fact that my heart is breaking
Despite the fact that I'm not the only one doing it
Despite the fact that my own blood -
My own mother is breaking it as well
And despite the fact that I've never been truly happy...
Is it okay to just want to leave?
Or is that suicide?
Is that a crime that God will judge me for?
Or will God be standing at the gates of Heaven with open arms, saying,
"My Child, you are safe now."
Is it okay to be an ambivert?
Or is that stupidity?
Is it okay to hate your body?
Or is that a lack of self-esteem?
Is it okay to want to hide yourself from the rest of the world?
Or is that selfishness?
Is it okay to want to cry and cry until there are no tears left
While not wanting to shed a single tear more?
Or is that too paradoxical?
Is it okay to want to smash your own skull against a brick wall?
Or is that too aggressive?
Is it okay to want to commit these crimes?
Or will God judge me for that?
Or will He be standing at the gates of Heaven with open arms, saying,
"My child, you are safe now."