i want my life to open
i want my life to shut like a tired
ocean wave
i want to sleep and eat and
die, i want to die
and be reborn and
never have to look at any of this.

i want to drop this burden

i want to cry and cry and
i want someone
anyone
to understand this.
i want to feel a fire
i want to run outside and escape
escape     escape     escape
the word sounds like it wears
expensive cufflinks from a
boutique in downtown boston.

i want to ***** all over boston

i want to ***** all over myself
and then lick it back up,
lap it in, feel the chunks slide
softly down my pharynx.