I'm no George Clooney, don't  come close,

Even though , I own a pair of ears and a nose,

the likeness is a tad remote.

It's George's pile of washer's , that gives him the edge.


He's also photogenic, but that's all just in his head,

I have a ' snap ' from '67,

I look like Elvis ,  from the back inside  a bed.

If the sheets were pulled down, 'Ol George's face would be red.


I'm convinced , it's the money that makes all the difference,

You see, If I had  his  healthy bank balance,

I wouldn't be writing this awful crap,

I' be somewhere on a Yacht , out at sea,

the picture of me as Elvis,  on the dashboard.

and a girl sitting on my knee.


By Holly Barrett