skin... I have skin covering a heart hidden within
I sacrifice nights
sacrifice nights with you
precious simple outings with you
a little limelight with you
darkened room
sheets to move
moving sheets to snuggle up with you
open my eyes
to my surprise
was simply a lie in a dream
but to you a reality
damaged road
fire burning distantly
letting you go easily
don’t know what to say
I no longer feel the same
I always hurt others silently
maybe love to me is just a dream
cause thats the one time it feels real to me
so I break you down
someone so kind
get into your head
study your mind
thought I’d make you mine
maybe again in another life
maybe again next time
under new light
under a new condition
a new rendition
of a love that never was
simply because
someone like me doesn’t know yet
what to do with themselves
stab you in the back
we’re on the same level
putting myself on
a brand new pedestal
I could never ever try to play the part
didn’t even know when to start
made our love wash away
and vanish in the midst of the dark
what a broken human I’ve become
to kiss another one
just to not feel numb
for one more second
to not have to reckon
that I’m secretly alone
in my room full of thoughts
try to decipher what works
and what does not
I always fall apart
and I’m sorry for that
my heart never healed
from February’s heart attack
I never was given
the chance to repair
and never found a guy since
that truly seems to care
you were a piece of the puzzle
that didn’t seem to fit
but you are a friend of mine, I admit
a fresh start would be most ideal
but I need time to heal
from a rollercoaster of love
that truly feels unreal
someone like me doesn’t deserve
others that waste time
to eventually feel unloved
I’m sorry for my vibes
I’m sorry for trying
I was simply only wanting
someone who really wants me
someone who really got me
but I did what I did
and played my role
played the villain part
I’m a selfish person
with a very selfish heart