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Jul 2018
Now you're alone
Sometimes I wonder
What holds up your bones
When I see you
Slumped in your being
Tied to a seat
Tide to the sea

I see you drowning
Want to hold out my hand
Cast out a lifeline
Save you from it

But the sharks got to you
Long before I did
Took the fight out of you
Tore it apart with all your limbs

Now your body lies broken
And you've made it your throne
Accepting the scars where
Wild thorns have grown

Waiting for cancers
A tumor to grow
A vein to burst open
For that sweet numbing glow
Did you realize what you paid with
That your body was the toll
When you drowned all your sorrows
While we were there in your home
We were there all along

Now you're here all alone
And you fill up your lungs
Body creaks and groans
Living life on a loan
Five times did your heart die
All wrapped into one
Still remember that night
Never saw you like that
So mortal under fluorescent light

I took a picture
That you may never forget
Naive in my thinking
I know somewhere there's regret
But you keep taking that killing path
Keeping company with bottles
Burning cigarettes
Lonely ghosts all around you
They follow you into your bed
Keep you from sleeping
My tears for the fears kept in your head

You're mine until my bones hurt
Though I've pushed you away
It's your blood running through me
Being your son means feeling pain
So many things happened to us
Best intentions were never enough
When you slipped you took us with you
Showed us places we never asked to see
Showed us your faces
Distorted
The beasts within that still hunt for me in dreams

I don't know where to put you
With this love I can't let go
I cannot hate you
Even when you break me
When at nights I stay up alone
With all that goes through me
Your hands they are stones
They hammer straight through me

You're old now
But I'm no longer young
Watching you ghosting out
A picture painted
But the portrait's wrong
It's just shells now
The spirit's gone
It's your hell now
And I am still your son
SN
Written by
SN
169
 
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