These days I’m finding it harder and harder to believe that everything nasty in the world isn’t all of my own doing
   And it’s been more and more difficult allowing myself to breathe easy because it seems the world is collapsing around me and I’ve caused the crumbling of every last brick
   Though my screams are lessened because I’ve been drowning for days the water doesn’t cancel the sound
   And it’s so deafening that it makes babies cry and tides turn and hurricanes begin to form in my eyes as an earthquake destroys a settlement with each step I take
   I’m afraid of waking up in this cruel world and setting off volcanic eruptions instead of fireworks
   My throat is filled with thorns and they tear my flesh with every breath I take and I’m tired of the blood pooling in my stomach to the point where I can’t think of roses without feeling nauseous
   I’ve tied my stomach into knots that I don’t know how to undo and my hands are shaking too much to even begin to try in the first place
   So I don’t.