Ready?
No.
Terrified.
It’s time to right.
I’ve been walking the streets of doubt for so long
Now that clear is here
It’s bringing more fear than my feet can rest for

Shame.
Shame is its name
I called it a while ago
But it’s carried on responding ever since
Every day
It never went away
When I thought it had gone
It’s been here so long I’d forgotten it existed
And now, after all that I resisted
It arrives
Unlocks the heavy-chained heart
And I am doused in some odd relief

Disbelief, once again
As clarity dawns
In the guise of a conversation about someone else
Seen through the eyes of a caring man
With healing intentions
Mostly unhindered by his own baggage
And more able, as a result
To reveal a little truth to me
About myself

I’d like to marry him
Not him, you understand
But someone so very like him
I’d like the man I marry
To be the kind of mind
That I feel unforgotten about with...

Shame.
The shame game.
It’s been playing me.
It’s been running me.
Time to take the reins back in hand.