Pulse racing
Stomach clenched
I lay my head on the table
My forehead cools
I am not angry with you
I am angry with me
I make steps towards a physical exit
And am dragged backwards
By a physical act
Entered into unwittingly
If willingly
I keep my self chained to my body
In the act of ignorance
Progression, even slight
Is fumbled over
I have not learnt enough to move on
To stay still
To sit with the signs
And listen:
My honesty comes too late
In fearing your loss
I lost myself
And to find me again
You have to go.