I give up. I give up caring for those around me.I give trying up to be the good friend who would tell the person their wrong and encourage them. I give up being that friend who would be there for the person when they are down because in all honesty, what have I gotten in return? Nothing but name calling and talks behind my back. What have I gotten in return? The feeling of being useless and being ignored. They go to me when they need something. Do you really have friends with the society that we have now? Honestly, can you tell me to my face that you don’t only go to me when you need something from me?

It was a mistake imposing myself on people and being friendly. Maybe being a snob and just staying away from people like my old self would be better rather than this feeling of anxiety and regret for trying to be a good friend showing a different perspective in life.
What is life? I don’t know anymore. Why am I friends with so many people? They don’t care about me as a person. They only care about how I make them feel. Why am I in a family who wouldn’t do anything but compare you and say discouraging words towards you? Because they only care about their expectations being met through you. Why do I have to have a crush on someone who doesn’t even like me? Because you are a stupid kid who is desperate for someone to love you and care for you because your own family doesn’t make you feel those all the time. Family says we put a roof on your head and give you food and education and define it as caring and loving, but do they really when all you hear is negativity from them?

Do you really have friends when all they make you feel is like you’re on the wrong side and they’d call you names for it? Are they really your friends if just the thought of correcting them or saying your opinion causes a fight between you?
Are you really living when you have to deal with all these crap in your life and end up writing something like this to ease your pain?