some vow to serve their god
                        rosary beads imprinted in red
                                    on trembling fingers
            to love their partner
            to be silent
            to live in poverty
                        hoping that the filth and dirt they sleep on
                        will nurture mythical seeds of enlightenment

I
do not grovel on my knees at night
            wishing that one glittering silver prayer ribbon
                                    from ten thousand
                                    all crumpling against the walls of my mind
                        would please reach something somewhere
                        or someone

I
pray standing
I pray alone
            firmly in front of the mirror
feet planted
            on top of dirt
                        filthy but barren
I pray to Truth
            yes it is cold when it is
                        raw
            its sharp teeth hurt when it
                        bites
but may Truth freeze and shatter
            my defeated heart
            when I forget

I
make a vow to myself
            that I will never
                        wrap up my cracks and fissures
                        with bandages made of someone else's skin
            I will never
                        set a torch to my Power and burn it
                        to ashes small enough
                                    for you to eat it
            I will never pay you
                        for the Soul you
                        do not own
            you cannot
                        wring me out
                        and mold me
                                    into one of you
                        I am stone

yes
I
am cold when I am raw
my real thoughts
            fears
            feelings
            dream­s
are sharp
and you
            will feel them bite

some vow to serve their god
            to love their partner
            to be silent
            to live in poverty

I
pray standing
I pray alone
            that when my knees are weak
            Truth will grant me the strength to fall
            into the godforsaken depths of hell
                        before I kneel