happiness, but a word.
hope, an aspiration.
love, a dream.

i have a dream.
that one day i will be loved.
the smell wavers in the air.
it tickles my nose.
i can see, but i must not feel.
my heart must not know it’s real.
like an imaginary friend.
like the wind.
i get glimpses, moments.
but i must not know it.
for i am a fortress of undying loneliness.
bodies of past veterans surround the gate.
how lucky to have such a fate.
to end the war with pure glory.
the living dead now searching for a cure.
i too am searching for my anecdote.
stick the needle in me.
i’ll swallow the pill.
will you perform open heart surgery?
i’ve needed it from the start.
i hum the tune of your memory.
remember me, for soon this will end.
i’m pinned against the wall.
i call, but only hear the echo of me.
my silent pleas ringing in my ear.
sheer ignorance, not accompanied by bliss.
the kiss of death lingers on my lips.
i am but a canary in a coal mine.
lack of air stole my voice.
i have no choice in the matter.
thoughts scatter, for i am mindful.
blind to a world of unknown.
where the blind also walk, but not alone.
i stalk the feeling, but its door is always locked.
i’ve knocked a few times, but no one was home.
the foam is seeping from my mouth.
i’m going mad from the hair of the dog that bit me.
i was intoxicated off of your sweet air.
the breath of complete damnation.
for hell once brought my body elation.
now lifeless, shoddy, lying in this wooden coffin.
the end is trying to begin again.
then i heard the tape rewind.

happiness, but a word.
hope, an aspiration.
love, a dream.