I want to feel like the other half of him.
but
instead,
I feel like the lesser half of you.
You are always one step ahead of me.
ready to pull the trigger
before I even know you have a gun.
I walk in your shadow
and no matter how many times I pay the electric bill
I am never seen.
Every movement is yours.
my tongue is lost in the phrases you once said.
my eyes show clips of you.
your laugh escapes my teeth.
It is your hands encircling my throat.
your legs guiding my feet to the grave.
I am never able to breathe without asking your lungs.
I am never able to think without asking your mind.
I am never myself, but
always you.