My surroundings and thoughts are so familiar.
I’ve been here so many times before.
Sometimes it feels like a past life:
Like it never even happened.
But then I am swept away to that place again,
And everything feels so memorable,
So wrong,
And yet so right at the same time.
It feels like someone is controlling my arms for me,
Making me do what I do.
Sometimes I throw some of my own reasoning in there to make it stop.
But sometimes I put up no struggle.
If this isn’t what’s supposed to happen,
Then why must it happen so much?
I can’t fight the urge anymore,
I can’t just silence out my thoughts.
Everyone has a monster living inside them,
And mine can’t help but break away.
Sometimes it takes over.
Sometimes I’m too weak to make it stop.
Sometimes,
I don’t even want it to.