I stumble out of the bar
where the white flakes consume my shoulders and clean my shoes
I should be cold and yet I am warmed
Maybe the alcohol, more so a feeling
And I walk and I walk and I walk
While my friends wait and still I walk
Everything around me is still
Still except for the somber snow that
falls, melting towards the ground
So softly, and yet with such intention
As if it feels the need to cover-and it does everything.
The bench and sidewalk and my
eyelashes and the knee of
my ripped jeans.
I look up at the empty sky
which seems to hold such nothingness
yet which contains everything
I think it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen
and it belongs to me.
For as my cheeks flush and my fingers chill
It is only me and the floating
reflecting ***** of light that
never seem to reach the ground.
They glint off of the lampposts
and the never changing streetlights.
I lie on the ground and feel
the world spin around and around
and I think of what I would say if
someone was around but only silence will do.
For in a place-- in a world-- where everyone
flocks and hurries and shuttles around,
I have no place to be--
no bed could give me more comfort
no boy could give me more love
no person could give me more attention
Among the streets covered in glass
I walk for hours to realize I’ve been gone for minutes
I could stop here and lie and stare and freeze without knowing and die
with the snow that hits the pavement and melts away
But I continue, where I want to yell to everyone who will listen
to come out and lick the sky
and lie on the cold earth
and make angels out of their mortal bodies
But no one is listening bar my beating heart
And when I enter the heat
and my feet turn into puddles
and my hair becomes damp
all I can do is gaze out the window and imagine
I was alone in the cold wandering home.