I watched as your back
arched inhumanly in every possible way,
your spine seemed to be made out of gum
yet your body was so tense,
I touched you and felt the same exact way
I felt when I hit the cold and hard surface of ice rink
for the very first time
except
your body was burning hot,
and your face was so pale
and so shiny from the sweat
you looked like a most morbid porcelain doll
I've ever seen

Each second I anticipated for your head
to start turning in full circles
and I so badly wanted to press a crucifix
against your skin and to exorcise you,
to free you from embraces of the mightiest,
but the only cross you ever believed in
and feared
was the shining green cross of the pharmacy

There were times when your pills made you feel heavenly,
yet
I was eternally put through hell