the silence in my head is stifled
by the deafening tick of the clock.
in the past month of my life,
I've had to grow up too fast.
the trigger of the starting gun was pulled,
and I was shoved onto the racetrack.
it's like trying to keep grip on honey,
running through my fingers,
coating them in sickly gold.

first, I learnt that love and lies
have a more faithful relationship
than we ever did.
they stroll around a paradise island,
away from the world and the truths,
hand in hand.
they drink the untouched juice of coconuts
and feed from the flesh of mangoes.
I hope that one day,
they become separable and learn to thrive on their own.
for now, I observe love and lies
in awe and jealousy
and let them wild.
they have my blessing.

the second thing that I have learnt
is to believe in ghosts.
for, there was a ghost beside me
confined in the four walls of my room.
a crumpled, lifeless body,
her hand limp in mine,
her head too heavy for her shoulders.
she tells me between tears and short, rasped breaths,
that life isn't for her.
I watched her leave my house,
and step into the air, floating away.
she's a balloon,
desperate to join the clouds in the sky,
but I hold the string,
keeping her at arms reach for just a little while longer.

Third, I learnt that friendship is a flower that grows in the dark.
it's beautiful too, and strong,
with a thick sturdy stem holding delicate petals.
the most beautiful flowers have the sharpest thorns
and I've been pricked too many times.
it's watered by the salts of our tears
and feeds from our raw laughter.
within me is a greenhouse of wilted flowers.

lastly, I learnt love is everywhere.
in the air that we breathe,
in the hollow cry of a guitar,
in the incandescence of a flame.
in the juice of coconuts and the flesh of mangoes,
in the eyes of a ghost,
in the roots of a flower.
in the shove to push me onto the racetrack.
love is a constant even when time is fleeting.
the deafening tick of the clock is what reminds us to be alive.