This is not a poem.

I mean to tell you that I'm sorry for the times I was so mean, for the times I yelled and called you names. And that I locked you out from my problems and my sadness in an effort to shield you from them.

Looking back I understand that it was more painful for you to see that I was struggling, lashing out and how I wouldn't open up to you about it, than it would have been had I acknowledged it to you and sought your comfort.

I know now that I was trying to run away from problems, not just the bullying and rejections but also your sickness. And most of all, the realization that you, my only friend, the only one I could be myself around and whom I felt comfortable with, would most likely, very soon,  not be around anymore.

Because of that you missed out on a great deal of support and love that you deserved so badly. And we got to spend even less time together than your already short time on this world permitted.


But these words mean nothing, not only because you will not be able to read them but because they're merely justification.. excuses.
The only thing that does matter is that I'm sorry.. I am so incredibly sorry!