The moment you are closed within a dark room and your mind goes loose, the whole world expands. You feel a new perspective of the world open up, and see outcomes. Your mind and mood changes, a more neutral and dead feeling falls on me. I don’t know if this is depression or just my way of my mind to expand even more.

The mere thought process of thinking everything, yet keeping your mind clear is the most enticing, yet terrifying. Feeling scared, angry, and sad, of the world. All I would want to do is leave to a place where it is just me and my mind, not feeling nor hearing the world, to where my subconscious is more vocal and I hear it’s voice and speak into the inner depths of my own soul. Which at times feels like I am close to the answer of the universe, but being blocked by something, something not letting me through. Whether it be just because as a human I can’t possibly fathom the true “Truth” of the universe and all the secrets it holds, or there is something that is blocking me from knowing the truth.

I find myself to refer back to religion, philosophy, psychology, and the matters of the heart where so many people find themselves dealing with on a daily basis. The mere fact that most people want to unlock the secrets of the world, shows how we wish to find some ultimate truth and meaning of the universe and in turn, our own lives. It is said that we are the universe itself since we have the key components to create life in the universe, therefore, we are the universe. Also like in most famous philosophers states, how the soul is discovered within us, therefore, it is not my own creation. It is with this that the soul seeks a whole new level of passion and happiness, it is compared to the power of gods themselves. This is the key to the universe as it itself shows the capabilities of humans beings. It shows with this alone we continue to break the limits we put on ourselves.

With new social underlying rules and laws that are spread which bring us closer to our own emotion and narrow mindsets that only benefit our own gain, we slowly lose that capability to expand our minds and see not only the world but ourselves and the people around us in a whole new perspective. Only with that, could we answer the questions and matters in our world then unite all of us to bring the answers to the universe closer together,

There are only 3 options in this world, and very rarely will there be a 4th option, those options are: 1) rise up to occasions and do whatever you can and go against the grain to reach a place you always wanted to be regardless of race, religion, ***, or any determining factors, This also means you must follow your own words, mind, and emotions and go against every, single, word, of the entire world. Even your loved ones. 2) continue to do nothing or continue a path that brought you to the fork in the road and makes things worse and continues to listen to those who don’t want you to rise and go against yourself and your very soul. For only small gains or comfort. Or rather not having enough courage to step up and do something and having that strong-willed and independence to do something for the better. 3) you simply do nothing to improve or do worst and continue your life as is. And lastly, 4) A total miracle or something astonishing that brought progress in a short time that was set based on the luck of life and everything was in place for you and do the impossible.

We continue an endless cycle of pain due to the lack of confidence in our inner strength that is capable of making the unlikely possible because nothing is impossible, it is only an illusion created by those who stop to continue its path of total success.

Each of those paths is created by a mere thought. The words from within that wanted more then it seeks. The inner soul that wanted more in life and wanted a whole different reality. Nothing is set in stone and there are many exceptions in life itself but never an end.

These thoughts alone bring me in and out of reality when in that dark room where the world slowly distance out and my own emotions and demons come out and test my existence and sanity, emotions rise, and I feel alone. No way to truly explain to others… in a sense, I am alone, with these thoughts never be translated into words, never have an ear to truly listen and understand. Maybe I am ahead of my time, or I'm locked within my own mind that brings me close to insanity, with one push I could lose it and be lost forever, having my own mind be consumed from the inside like a black hole, forever destroying the secrets it might have shown, to be closer to the universe itself and the secrets it holds.

All I know is that I am lost and alone from the world, continuing to wear a mask even to those I care about the most. Never being who I truly am, except in certain times when I feel my true self-come out. To only just be locked away and continue the cycle we go through, Each, and, every day. While wondering our own existence in this world and evaluation our own worth in this world to which we don’t understand ourselves and the people around us. We continue an endless cycle with little gain to find the secrets in the universe. This continues to rattle our own existence in this world and strike fear in our hearts till the end of time.