why do we choose people
who make us feel anything but
whole
i am sugar crumb cookies
always left on the table
no one has ever wanted me
he has never been satisfied
he is a carnivore
always wanting more
hungry for the flesh of everyone
his appetite rockets when i’m not there
he cannot get enough sugar crumbs
he wants more
he wants all the crumbs even when they aren’t mine to offer
i am bent nails
patched hair
i cannot stop pulling my hair out
i am finger nail scrapes down my legs
he is angry
but not as angry as me
no one will know what this rage is
so let me ask you again
why do we choose people
who make us feel anything but
whole
because we allow them to let us feel anything but
whole
we think that feeling like our lungs are going to
collapse because we can’t catch our breath
is okay because we are used to it
but i’m sick and tired of finding crumbs that aren’t mine
i stand up and get the wobbling in my knees to stop
i grab the glass cookie jar and throw it on the ground
i think of leaving you a note on the counter
but i know you’ll forget
because you’ll be too busy
licking up all the sugar crumbs
that aren’t
mine