It bothers me that I was her understudy.
It bothers me that
I am a woman
But to you I was just a warm body.
I was never her.
When I catch your scent my face scrunches tight,
But I never let you see.
Unrequited oh-so-absolutely not love.
If you could pull me apart,
Stretch me out,
You would see that I am small.
I feel small.
I wish I was enough
And yet at the same moment I want nothing of you.
I don’t want you.
Not you.
I hereby lay us to rest, the us that we were.
You cannot be my friend
Because when I look at you all I see is sex and nothing.
Tomorrow I will make you coffee and pretend it’s all okay.
But on the inside I am shrinking
Ever smaller.