Won't you be so kind,
as to dim the light?
I am tired of smiling, greeting, interacting,
for with it comes pretending.
Beauty, Smart, Happy, Funny, Sweet they call me.
Names that do not befit me.
They see me always smiling, laughing, comforting other.
But those are done only with the light on.
A master I have always been,
at hiding my fears,
my pains,
my frustrations,
my problems,
my worries,
my anxiety.

So dim the light.
Let's not disappoint them.
For these tricks of mine are worsening in skill.
More breaks I have come to need,
more isolation I have come to crave,
Less light I want to see.

So dim the light.
For when I am alone.
I have become obsessed in this persona,
that beautiful, full of life, kindness, intelligence witch.
And it breaks my heart every time I remind myself that I am not her.
I grow envious, terrified, ashamed, isolated.

So dim the light.
I disappointed myself a long time ago and all I have is them.
And they love her so I will continue to give them her,
I promise I will not disappoint them.
Please, for me, dim the light