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Nov 2012
One last chance, one last page to tell you how things stand.
More than anything else
I am thankful for all that time together, it was well spent.
Still I wish you could just stay and hold my hand
Until the world calls;
And then just tell it we will need more time lent.

If this somehow works, I want to be with you more,
Let everyone know.
'I will give you everything if only you will have me.'
Don't worry about what's on the other side of that door,
It will come in time.
Right now I must try to make you see all that we could be.

I first met you in the woods, that trip was sublime,
How blessed is nature!
You knew what you were about, it showed.
I learned that you too liked to hike, commune, and climb.
You seemed ethereal.
My appreciation of you, from there, never slowed.

It started that first night you came over here,
I was told we seemed
To go well together. I said you were taken, no hope.
Then I started to think on it. Things became less clear.
We grew close.
And the we had that talk, which made the slippery *****.

The release of our tension was an avalanche cascade:
Beautiful and terrifying.
You said you wanted to get to know me better,
Everything then made me so afraid,
But I spoke.
You know now who I am, word and letter.

I can't say that I know you though, always hesitant,
Holding back.
Afraid of pain, and no one could put you at fault.
Bu your recklessness is almost militant!
Different lifestyles,
So hard to mix, your heart behind a steel vault.

You are the Turks to my Constantinopilian walls,
The first to make it in,
To destroy all defenses, break your way to the heart.
I guess the walls must be rebuilt, the buildings and halls,
To store the secrets,
And hide the shattered parts.

One gate will always be open to you, if you need.
We did too much
For me to lock you out, I can merely run for a bit.
I don't know enough to take the lead,
Is that the problem?
Should I take what I have and run with it?

'If you love something give it away...'
I don't want to!
But if that is the way of the world
There is really nothing I can say.
This ship is adrift
My sails are open, completely unfurled...

But right now there is no gust--no breeze-- no wind--
I am stuck.
Is this a curse? Did I shoot my albatross?
I would take you out, but I have no money left to spend!
Would you if I could?
Confound it, more empirical data. This is my loss.

I am nearing the end now, almost done,
A bit left to say.
I just don't want to miss anything of import.
You understand don't you? You needn't run,
It's nearly your turn!
Then I'll see if I come up short.

I can feel it inside, deep down, the answer to what I asked.
he dull grey hour
Here and full of excitement! Oh the hazards of love...
They open up, in front and behind, so cast,
I knew it all the while.
I'm excited, in a strange way, kind of.

Perhaps now the sleepless nights can end?
It's 4 o'clock again.
I have work in 5 hours, but sleep won't come.
It never comes when needed, nor does it pretend.
Trust, can I trust you?
That's unfair, isn't it? It's just me that is a slum.

The question, in case you forgot, is rather simplistic,
Yet infinitely complex!
One of those with which you expect a cacophony
In answer. But to be realistic,
There is but one word,
or a few. No long and dreary monophony.

So, Alexandra, will you be mine?
And I yours?
The two of us alone, exclusive, loyal, and trustworthy.
"No"
Written by
Jacob Mayhew
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