I relapsed tonight.
As I watched the blood
Trickle down my forearm
All that filled my head
Were dark thoughts.
Why am I this way?
Why do I fear death
But constantly want to die?
The cold blade slicing my skin
The blood pooling  
It is a beautiful feeling
A feeling no one should have
But yet millions do.
We thrive for it.
What does it feel like
To be truly happy?
No dark thoughts
No feeling of a blade.
****** skin.
A room full of people
Who want you around.
Instead of a room full of people
Who don’t even know you are there.
I bet it is wonderful,
To never have to doubt your existence.
To never feel so... alone.