Jun 2018
I wanted you to love me,
That's all I ever pined for through these years
But I still cry most times
When I think of the fact that you failed to love me
I'll never understand why you didn't love me
You claimed to,
But it didn't show in your actions.
You were selfish.
As was I.
But that's life, right?
It keeps cracking your heart open
Until you can't close it anymore
It gets to the point where there are no plausible explanations your mind can come up with anylonger
It gets to the point where
Only your heart can comprehend the world with all of it's suffering
Only your heart can try it's best to patch up the world
With the bits of love that flow through you from God
Keeping an open heart is baffling, really
It just doesn't make sense
It's hella painful
Exceptionally brutal
And exquisitely breathtaking, beautifully astounding
There are no words in any language
That can properly express
Genuine love
But let's keep it like that
Let love remain a mystery
In it's confounding splendor
Leave it to be one of those few things
That academics can't pin down precisely
Let love be what it is in it's truest form:
Magical
Like when you really see nature for the first time,
You know?
You see how really gorgeous it all is,
And how intelligent it is
And in that passing moment of awe
It's easy to entertain the idea of God
But you eventually have to walk back to your cubicle
Where your mind is like a safe container
That computes certainty
But love is magical,
Love is uncertain,
It's powerful
I guess what I'm trying to say is that love is transformative,
You know?
And it's humbling
I mean, I'm not talking about Romeo and Juliet,
I'm not referring to RomComs where a man and a woman fall in love within the span of three days,
C'mon,
Can we all admit that is BS?
Love is not magical like the way it is portrayed in fairytales
Love is magical because it is the very essence of life,
The driving force of life
It's what sustains us,
It's what connects us
It's what changes us
Into brave children of God
Formerly we were
Scarred, angry little children
Throwing darts at perceived enemies
But no one is the enemy here,
That's what love reveals
We're all just lost children
Hiding under the shielded guise of our egos
Until, well until
We throw up our hands in surrender
And say with all our heart,
"I can't do this without you God.
Help me."
That's all I ever pined for through these years
But I still cry most times
When I think of the fact that you failed to love me
I'll never understand why you didn't love me
You claimed to,
But it didn't show in your actions.
You were selfish.
As was I.
But that's life, right?
It keeps cracking your heart open
Until you can't close it anymore
It gets to the point where there are no plausible explanations your mind can come up with anylonger
It gets to the point where
Only your heart can comprehend the world with all of it's suffering
Only your heart can try it's best to patch up the world
With the bits of love that flow through you from God
Keeping an open heart is baffling, really
It just doesn't make sense
It's hella painful
Exceptionally brutal
And exquisitely breathtaking, beautifully astounding
There are no words in any language
That can properly express
Genuine love
But let's keep it like that
Let love remain a mystery
In it's confounding splendor
Leave it to be one of those few things
That academics can't pin down precisely
Let love be what it is in it's truest form:
Magical
Like when you really see nature for the first time,
You know?
You see how really gorgeous it all is,
And how intelligent it is
And in that passing moment of awe
It's easy to entertain the idea of God
But you eventually have to walk back to your cubicle
Where your mind is like a safe container
That computes certainty
But love is magical,
Love is uncertain,
It's powerful
I guess what I'm trying to say is that love is transformative,
You know?
And it's humbling
I mean, I'm not talking about Romeo and Juliet,
I'm not referring to RomComs where a man and a woman fall in love within the span of three days,
C'mon,
Can we all admit that is BS?
Love is not magical like the way it is portrayed in fairytales
Love is magical because it is the very essence of life,
The driving force of life
It's what sustains us,
It's what connects us
It's what changes us
Into brave children of God
Formerly we were
Scarred, angry little children
Throwing darts at perceived enemies
But no one is the enemy here,
That's what love reveals
We're all just lost children
Hiding under the shielded guise of our egos
Until, well until
We throw up our hands in surrender
And say with all our heart,
"I can't do this without you God.
Help me."
