Jun 2018
All i wanted
Was a good role model
Someone to show me
How to clean my room
Or to do my laundry
What i got was your laziness
All i wanted
Was for someone to read to me
For someone to protect me
And be there for me
When my demons come to play
What i got is a bigger, stronger demon
All i wanted
Was to live with my parents
To be happy
Even if
You too were separated
What i got is abandonment issues
I say i want
A lot of useless things
Like video games, that you deemed more important than me
Or movies that you might like,
To get your attention
But i don't really mean it
Because all i want
Is a decent father
But what i got
Is the bad lessons
You left behind with me
So happy ******* fathers day
You deadbeat parent, you,
And i really hope
That you don't feel the pain I'm feeling
But if you do
Then deal with it
Because hell,
I didn't want to be broken
All i wanted was you
Was a good role model
Someone to show me
How to clean my room
Or to do my laundry
What i got was your laziness
All i wanted
Was for someone to read to me
For someone to protect me
And be there for me
When my demons come to play
What i got is a bigger, stronger demon
All i wanted
Was to live with my parents
To be happy
Even if
You too were separated
What i got is abandonment issues
I say i want
A lot of useless things
Like video games, that you deemed more important than me
Or movies that you might like,
To get your attention
But i don't really mean it
Because all i want
Is a decent father
But what i got
Is the bad lessons
You left behind with me
So happy ******* fathers day
You deadbeat parent, you,
And i really hope
That you don't feel the pain I'm feeling
But if you do
Then deal with it
Because hell,
I didn't want to be broken
All i wanted was you
i wanted to write this on fathers day but that didn't happen.
honestly fathers day this year was extra excruciating. my dad just.... he finally just had enough with acting like he wanted to be there i guess. like Ive been trying to reason with him and he always says its my fault and that I'm an adult now and that I'm acting like a child when all i ******* wanted since childhood was a father who truly cared.
like... i just wanted a better childhood, and better parents, but that's not what happened, and I'm slowly dealing with that fact.
I'm slowly realizing I'm not to blame for my father leaving, but it doesn't take the pain away.
honestly fathers day this year was extra excruciating. my dad just.... he finally just had enough with acting like he wanted to be there i guess. like Ive been trying to reason with him and he always says its my fault and that I'm an adult now and that I'm acting like a child when all i ******* wanted since childhood was a father who truly cared.
like... i just wanted a better childhood, and better parents, but that's not what happened, and I'm slowly dealing with that fact.
I'm slowly realizing I'm not to blame for my father leaving, but it doesn't take the pain away.
