I spend time everyday wondering if I made the right choice.
I meander through thick crowds of people
the smell of rotting flesh in the air
I shut my mind off and try to follow my heart,
I remember I don't have a heart,
I lost it with the first "Romeo"
I desperately crave a menthol cowboy killer
and a xanax.  
I look at your face and watch you sleep,
your chest rising and falling with each breath .
I lean closer and smell your scent and rub your chest.
hop up and clean the house we call "ours"
yet I feel so out of place.
I sit zoned out on the chair in the bathroom and wonder
That's all I can do, wait for my heart to catch up with my brain.