I wrote. and I wrote until my fingers went numb and until the paper was covered in my tears but I wrote. I wrote about how I love you. and how i hate you. I wrote about how I can barely breathe. how my throat is clenched my stomach in knots. I wrote how my eyes are swollen so I wear my glasses and look down. I wrote how I was strong until I walked into my room and saw your handwriting on my wall. I write how I dropped to my floor and gasped for breath. I wrote how it’s just unreal. how it’s insane and it just can’t be happening. I wrote how I have to distract myself in order to not think about the pain. I wrote about how every time I pause, I think of you. how you would’ve done anything to have me. I wrote about the time you stayed up all night for me. and how we both wished upon the same star. how we wished for the same thing. I wrote about how our first date we saw a movie but I cannot tell you a single thing cause I thought the whole time about how hard I was holding your hand or if my hair was tickling your neck. I write about all the times you come over. how you fit right in with my family. as if you were apart of it already. I wrote about how we fought. how we used our words and how we used them as weapons. how eventually it became a war. how it finished. how the city went up in flames. and how I was left. screaming for help on the 4th story up choking on smoke and gagging on my tears. and I look out to an abandoned town. until my eyes lay on you. sipping your water and pouring the rest onto the ground. watching me and my heart... burn.