11 days later

and i'm still in love with you.
you are burned into my brain

you are aching in my heart
you are locking my throat closed
and i'm still drowning out at sea

11 days later

and it still feels like the first
the first hello
the first joke
the first picture
hug
kiss
tear
ache
goodbye

11 days later

and everytime i see you
i feel a crack in my heart
no really
you'd laugh if i told you
you always laughed.


11 days later

and i'm still stuck in the web of words you caught me in
i hate you for catching me

11 days later

and i can't help but stare
i can't help but run into you
or i can't help but wander in hopes of
maybe seeing you and falling into old patterns of hello i am and hello we are and hello hello goodbye

11 days later

and you look great
you look better then ever
great

11 days later

and i forgot your smell
i forgot the deep colour in your eyes
i forgot the way your hands fit around my waist
i forget your laugh and look of confusion when you don't understand
not really but maybe writing it would transfer the memories and i would
i would forget

11 days later
i'm not sad
don't tell me i'm just sad
i'm not sad
i'm just living a life inside of this body
i'm not sad

11 days later
and it's all your fault
you lied and lied
and i believed again and again
and my paint is smeared with tears and my body is aching all over and my floor is holding me up while my body lay restless ready to move to 12 but after so long why can't i and why are you okay on 11 but i

11 days later
and my friends are tired
i'm tired
we're all tired

11 days later
the doctors sealed up the wounds
they put in a cleaner heart
and removed all my tears
i look new, don't I?

11 days later

i don't feel it anymore
i still can't listen to love songs
but numb is okay
i disagree but
they told me it is
i told them i'd rather hurt
than feel absolutely nothing at all

It's only 11 days later.