i can't swim

numb nights
i lie awake
while the world rest asleep

tears softly drop
aching me
gagging me

i can't distract my ears
my eyes
my hands

it's too late to draw
run
work

torture myself with pictures
and replay the slowest of songs

my heart lay numb
because a broken heart
will only become more broke

i picture you in my mind
my chest heaves
and my throat clenches tighter

jealousy anger fear
i cannot feel your touch on my skin anymore

hiding under the covers
the monsters still claw from under
over
within

i will never escape
i'm not drowning
i just don't know how to swim.