i suffered from
a disease called
depression.

it started when my
mother left
because she wasn't in love

and i was the only
one around
to feel his rage.

a few months later
that was when
i was done

i told the guidance counselor
that i was ready
and she asked me if i was sure

"without a doubt
if i am not stopped
you won't see me tomorrow"

and she called him
explaining the dangers and
sent me home.

the only thing
he was worried about
was how people saw him

what people were
going to think
when they heard the news.

how could he have
a dysfunctional daughter
when he is so perfect?

i was sent to counseling
and like i expected
it didn't help.

she was kind
but with her religion
she tried to show me new light

and don't get me wrong
there's nothing bad about it
but it's just not my style

and with her christianity
i could never fully
express how i felt.

while i didn't mind
wasting his money
i ended it early

"yes of course i'm better
no longer do i wish
to slit my wrists".

the next month
i did just that