For some reason I can’t fathom I’m constantly alone,
as there are never any men calling me up on the phone.
I’m not sure why this is, but there must be some reason,
why there is such an absence of men in my life, season after season.

I guess it could be the fact that I have a lot of friends,
except they’re all cats and apparently that’s not “in.”
I don’t really understand it, we get along quite well,
and I know that all my cats do think I’m absolutely swell.

And yet my dates don’t usually last any later than six,
which could have something to do with all my cool cat pics.
Apparently guys think it’s “weird” when you show them all that stuff,
they’d rather see pictures of **** girls in the buff.

So when I present men instead with a styling, western-wear cat,
they are less than impressed, and that’s the end of that.
You’d think I would learn, but I never do,
so I’ll sit alone forever, just me and my cat crew.