And now, there's the sheer panic.
That I have nowhere else to go.
Nothing left to do but stare.
Vacantly out the window.

It's always a sudden shock.
It's always sharp and biting.

Yet,
All it is.
Is.

Just frantic fear at the realization.
I just.
Wasted.
My life.

Every moment spent.
Escaping from right now.

The pills are working and I have emotions.
But, not the ones I want.
Never the ones I want.