I'm so lonely, a self-inflicted exile,
i have so many acquaintances,
though long gone are the days when i would strive to be better,
strive for friendship.
Time has passed so slowly, and yet it feels like just yesterday,
I could analyze why i'm like this for days,
But i already know the conclusion i would reach,
There's a conspicuous absence of you,
I can try to fill this void with friends, sex and lies,
but i am not sated.
I look on as i watch myself walking towards desolation,
Neglecting those things in life that would normally be so necessary,
Forgetting is a skill i am yet to learn,
And this void seems only to grow.
I'll be honest with you, I function from day to day,
But in those moments when there's no distraction, and only memories to fill the time,
We're sitting in front of your tv with a cup of tea,
You're at my side as i hide my pain and shame, broken, but pretending to be strong,
All for you.
I know i will walk this dangerous path until i find closure,
Something that isn't you ignoring my existence,
Don't you realise that there will come a day,
When you and i will meet again, in some inconvenient circumstance,
You may run the other way, again,
But i wonder what you will think when you look in my eyes,
And see that there is no passion left in me,
No lust for life.
For why should i strive, if my reward is this?