i refuse i refuse
for even Allen Ginsberg is ghosting me tonight:
"crying my husband's gone my boyfriend's busted forever my
poetry was rejected
won't you come over for money and please won't you write
me a piece of *******
How are you dear can you come to Easthampton we're all
here bathing in the ocean we're all so lonely"
i am a cigarette once again
and i don't even know what strolling is anymore i am
pounding through life and life
is pounding through me we have
this love hate relationship you know
in the salon of life i am
standing on a cross-road of very well known people and
i am heaving here i am
with all my ******* toothpaste
there are all these young knights who think they can
handle me; euphemisms of me handling myself there
is something about humans being memories that act out
i cross some roads in myself and smoke heavy
(i touch our odyssey and dream of the supermarket, Allen Ginsberg,
i do not know where to go anymore)