although the air was completely still
my body quivers
as if a small wind were stimulating my nerve endings

I lay silently as I process the events of my past
grabbing me into a hole of darkness
where all my innocence was lost
and all my purity taken

as if it were occurring now
you were near me again
so real I start to push your phantom hands
off my legs as I kick the sheets to the edge of the bed

I toss and turn as my body rebels
again and again against the actions
that never should have taken place
but did...

your eyes piercing gray
and your breath hot on my neck
you watch me as you lean in to kiss me goodnight
the only thing missing was the smell of alcohol
staggered under the musty smell
of your unbrushed teeth of the day

as if every moment that had taken place
was occurring at once
I leap up from bed
attempting to silence
the screams in my head
screams I never screamed when I should have....