I don't know what to call this
I don't know where I've gone
All I know is the waves are getting higher
And they never come back down
I'm adrift amongst purposeful ships
Clear for everyone to see
The solitary, turbulent vessel
Struggling to stay afloat,
to find my bearings in the open sea
I've forgotten where I came from
A bustling port of distant memory
Though even if I could recall it
Bring back those warm, sweet memories,
I would not be able to bring myself home to face it
Alone, ragged, battered from the high seas.
I'm far too ashamed of my failure,
of my grand aspirations which have abandoned me
I've little to show for my efforts
I've little to offer to those who believed in me
So I carry on, alone out on the open water
Adrift and unsure,
Trying to find my next harbor
Made all the more difficult,
as my gifts have started to fail me  
I don't know which way my compass points
Which way is true north? How do I sail south?
My anchor is starting to rust and decay,
My sails have grown heavy with salt water
I've lost ropes, barrels, and panels to the ocean
Been plundered by philandering pirates,
(been beaten, cut, and abandoned by them too)
And of course at this point my navigation's shot-
My wheel no longer spins,
My star chart is damage beyond repair
I'm left floating
Between waves
On waters smooth as glass
On waters made to shatter

My ship, my self, in waiting
Waiting
For the next wave to crash
For the next tide to carry me
For a current to pull me
For the stars to reappear
For something to take me home
Or better yet
For something to take me where I've never been