on wednesday you sit in the bathtub for two and a half hours
not washing, not even your hair, just kinda sitting
you know it's gross, you see the state of the water, you watch your toes prune
but nothing exists here, except maybe the internet, and time, and that's not a peace you're granted often,
so you sit.

when you get to your room
your ***** clothes will smell, and your clean clothes will be downstairs
from saturday, when you had the energy to wash them but not to put them away,
so you sit and stare at the tile,
try not to focus too ******* the pain in your back, between your shoulder blades and up your neck

you feel the time pass
it is noon,
which is 4 hours until 1 hour until you have to go to work,
not nearly enough time,
4 hours until 1 hour, 3 hours until 1 hour until 1 hour, 2 hours until 1 hour until 2 hours,
your brain creating these strange, non-existent deadlines
so you never really relax,
just dissolve into ***** bathwater,
counting down to nothing