i have decided that,
         like the ashes in november,
i must drop my leaves
and enter dormancy.

i must endure this season alone.

for one should never start a romance
          in the winter.
as one can never know
how the fruits will bloom
until the ice has melted away.

....yet i continue to read your body
like the map to happiness
is written on your skin;
and i wrap you around me
so i may trace my path up and down your arms.

i have decided
that i cannot let your hand
slip around my neck again,
but I still wear you
          like a winter coat.
i use your fleecy down
          to hide me
like november's blanket-clouds.

i need you
in the face of waning daylight,
because you light me like a lantern;
and the heat of the fickle flame--
          though inconsistent be the light--
seems to be my only source of warmth.

i have decided
that i cannot want you,
          but i need you
so I may endure this bitter winter.