I wish I could tell you exactly how I felt in that exact moment
The sinking feeling
The idea I wasn’t enough.
I’m so sorry I couldn’t be enough for you in that moment
But I’m here
I’m craving you
Your voice
Your smile
Your mind.
It’s not fair that I’m so far from you.
I wish I was closer and maybe
Things would be different

Maybe I’m overthinking everything
Maybe I’m too broken for you,
But you are the only
One who seems to understand
To understand my thoughts
My emotions
My stance on this world.
I miss the time you would pick up
The phone on the second ring
Now it feels like an eternity
Listening to your voicemail
I do wish I was stronger
More confident
I wish I had gone to see you
I’m sorry I wasn’t enough in that moment
Please try to understand that I need you
To be patient with me.
I’m broken
Beaten
Alone. But you don’t make me feel alone.
You made me feel loved
Except for the night I sat on my bathroom floor shaking
While I listened to
Your voice when my
Call went straight to voicemail.

r.h. (Patient)