What I have can’t be fixed by a doctor How do you tell someone “I don’t know where it hurts” Or more accurately “It hurts everywhere; where should I being?” Because how do you tell someone that the pain of inadequacy Mirrors a blow to the head in its intensity But far surpasses it when it comes to longevity And as far as timing is concerned Every watch I’ve ever had has broken So how do you tell someone that the lies are never easy But the ones you tell to yourself crash over you like waves And drag a small portion of you away each time they recede It’s like a game of Them vs. Me And what makes the defeats unbearable Is the fact that they don’t even know they’re playing I’ve been keeping score And keeping score And keeping score The walls are filled with white lines One Two Three Four Slash Maybe if I point to my chest and say, “Here” Someone will understand It’s a pain that feels like everything I’ve ever wished for Has solidified and turned to stone Making a home somewhere in my ribcage And it’s expanding I write bravery on my skin because I have none I make deals with a god I know doesn’t exist Just so when I’m unable to hold up my end of the bargain I have someone to blame for falling through on his And I still can’t figure out if it’s funny or sad That the only man I want to kiss me never will And the last one who did traded in his lips for his hand So he can high-five me like we’re friends on the same team Never making mention that we kissed on the floor of his room Until we were breathless While breakup songs played in the background Taking up just as much space as we did Became witness to our nervous hands fumbling over each other’s bodies Turning our kiss into a ******* I have heard that silence speaks just as loudly as words But silence builds up in my mouth like a traffic jam And my jaw is begging to break from the weight So maybe now’s the time to scream Time to shout Because I've been keeping all my thoughts filed away Under the title, “When The Time Is Right” But there’s no time like tonight