I'm writing out of desperation.
Honestly, I need a place of contemplation.
It's not in my mind anymore
No, it's not even in my soul.
Where can i find it- where can I go
Where can I run away and leave this sorrow?
I feel this incredible heavy blanket of fog
And the thinking in my brain is clogged
It's like someone is holding a gun to my head
But I wouldn't be struggling if i was dead
Right- Am I right about that?
Less complex- less a mess?
Oh, dear God above- Your love
That's not what's on my mind- this time.
I'm sorry- I can't think straight
It's closed down- someone locked that gate.
And I need to find the key again
Start winning finally again
Or just ******* find my train of thought
Is it derailed or have I just been forgot?
I'm pulling on my hair and thinking
And yet I feel I'm ever sinking
Further into chaos and confusion
Fighting for reality and not delusion.
How can I conquer- How can I win?
How can I make my head stop spin?
There is no pause or stop or delete
It just keeps going whether or not I feel complete
And I want so badly to figure this out
I want so badly to be content and not pout
So how can I accomplish all of this?
How can I assume permanent bliss?
Or just decide on one simple path
And start to learn again to laugh
Cause this insanity needs to quit
I'm tired of not knowing ****
I'm not the only one in this position
But I did not feel prepared to make a decision
About how to advance in life
How to avoid a lot of strife
I guess there's no way around these things
But it'd be nice if my brain would start working...