I lie awake drunk off the dreams of the nostalgic.
I lie awake disgusted off the dreams of my youthfulness.
I lie awake depressed off the dreams of my happiness.

I pray to God I fix my wrong doings, I fix the ******, i fix myself.

The past... ruined me and the one I care about. ******* missed those times in my care.

I ruined myself, my friendships, my love interest. I ruined them and j ruined myself.

I want to reach out... but I know they deserve better.