I couldn't breathe.
I wanted it to end.
I wanted to control my freedom.
It's useless.
To see tired lifeless eyes in the mirror
It kills you slowly each day.
A reflection can do that.
So I started to cut.
And I felt calm.
Is this what a poacher feels?
To see red blood on ivory tusk's?  
A poppy beside a lily.
It only lasts as long as a painkiller.
But I'm happy.
Pain has brought me joy.
And I know this is an insatiable thirst.
Maybe I'll die.
Maybe someone else will.
But I am now so sure
That I will enjoy
Every last drop.

Now I'm laughing.
It amuses me
The gore in my head.
My feelings have been frozen
Except for lust.
Lust for another's body.
To feel their heat.
To taste their blood.
To hear there moans.
Yes. I will feed for pleasure.
And my blood was what killed me.