I wait.
my body betrays me.
daily. nightly. randomly and bitterly.
I wait for answers that never come.
Medicines that never work.
For the days to stop being endless shades of gray.

He tries to help me.
Patiently. Lovingly.
I push him away.
Because I hurt.
and he cannot truly understand how i hurt.

oh my love oh my love
it is me that is broken
if you blow on me i will scatter
like leaves in the wind.

you are my stronghold.
you are my sun.
would that i were strong enough to tell you
but I am an evening star, and i am already burned out.